


Guilt

by Violent_Bulldog



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Drinking, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Kissing, Love, Mild Blood, Murder, Nightmares, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Survivor Guilt, Trauma, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27583768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_Bulldog/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: She can’t eatShe can’t sleepShe can’t even think about anything elseShe just keeps seeing her and what she didWhat she was told she didAnd, she can’t deal with it
Relationships: Minerva & Sophie (Walking Dead: Done Running), Minerva/Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running)
Kudos: 5





	Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings are in the tags, please only read if you’re comfortable with them

She hasn’t left her dorm since they rescued her.

They hadn’t really meant to rescue her, they were after their friends, but they convinced her to come along too and abandon the Delta, despite what they knew she did to Sophie. 

They didn’t trust her. Understandably so, but it still hurt to see the glares that some of the other kids threw at her when she joined them in the cart. The way Violet sat as far away from her as she could and the way that Louis gave her a fearful look, unsure of what she was capable of.

She didn’t speak to any of them, aside from as few words possibly exchanged with Ruby as she patched up the taller girl’s injuries. Ruby escorted her to her old dorm room, which looked bland and dull compared to how it was left. All of Sophie’s drawings had been torn down, leaving the room with no color and just the grey, lifeless walls. 

Sophie...

Ruby left her alone soon after that, telling her that if she needed anything then she just had to ask. Minnie barely acknowledged her or the soft click of the door closing as she left. 

She slumped down against the wall, staring at the desk that Sophie always sat at. She would always be drawing away at something, but would always listen to Minnie practice her guitar playing or her singing. And Minnie would always grin at whatever Sophie had drawn and insisted they put it up on the walls.

But that was gone now. There was no more guitar, no more drawing and no more Sophie. Her blood was on Minnie’s hands. 

It was more than a month since they’d rescued her. She refused to leave her dorm. Someone would come by twice a day and leave food, but she rarely ate it. She often heard whoever tell her that it wasn’t healthy, but she didn’t care anymore.

She had found bottles of vodka that the twins had kept hidden in their wardrobe. They never showed them to anyone else. Well, they probably would have, but Marlon traded them away before they got the chance. She spent most of her time drinking from those bottles, ignoring the burn that the drink had in her throat every time. 

She couldn’t deal with the thoughts about Sophie anymore. She stopped sleeping in hope to stop the nightmares about Sophie’s fate and started to drink instead. It made her feel numb. Calm. It made her brain go silent. 

But, it wasn’t enough. She drank the last quarter of a bottle one night, but the thoughts wouldn’t stop. The drink didn’t seem to be as effective as much anymore. Maybe it was more water than vodka, she didn’t know. She could picture it, the blood, the lifeless eyes, the fear in her sister’s expression as she pulled the trigger. It was too much.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe. Tears slipped down her face as she hyperventilated into her knees, which were tucked up to her chest as she sat on the floor, against the worn-down dresser. She smashed the empty bottle on the ground next to her, slapping her hand down into the shards of glass. Just to feel something, something that wasn’t grief or guilt. She could feel the blood dripping down her fingertips and forming small droplets as they hit the floor. It helped. She wasn’t sure why and she was pretty sure that it wasn’t supposed to, but it helped.

There were glass shards stuck in her hand, in the freshly developed cuts. She gently glided that hand down her cheek, slowly slipping down her neck and to the top of her shirt. She felt the small cuts start to leak with blood, but it made her feel better. It made her feel alive.

She flinched harshly when there was a knock at the door. She glared at it, as if wishing to set the person behind it on fire.

”Minnie? I-I heard a smash and I wanted to make sure that you’re... okay?” The voice was soft. Gentle and shy, but Minnie could tell who it was from the first word. Violet.

She tried to reply. To tell her that she was fine and just wanted to be left alone. But, the words got caught in her throat and instead, she left out a choked sob. Tears burned her eyes again and as they slipped down her cheeks, burned the fresh cuts too. 

Violet didn’t miss the sob. She slowly pried open the door and stepped inside, eyes widening at the sight she saw. The smashed glass, the bleeding cuts and the small pools of blood that were developing around the girl.

The girl...

Violet had seen Minnie through a lot of shit. When the apocalypse first started, when they lost their first classmate, when they lost their first friend, when they had to kill someone they cared about before they turned. A lot. But, she’s never seen the girl so broken. So weak, so empty, so... gone.

“Min...” Violet’s voice was a soft whisper, a tone that Minnie was so used to hearing. It comforted her slightly, but she felt guilt burning in the back of her throat at it too.

”I’m sorry” She whispered back, tears still falling down her cheeks, cuts still dripping with blood. Violet knelt beside her and took her uninjured hand into her own. Minnie felt part of her heart calm down completely, feeling at home at the contact to the other girl. But, her brain made sure that the guilt burned harsher.

”Why?” Violet seemed confused. She shouldn’t be, Minnie had to apologise for a lot of things. Maybe she just wanted to know what she was apologising for exactly, since the list could go on for days.

“I-I’m sorry about Sophie, I’m sorry about abandoning you, I’m sorry that I let Lilly get in my head, I’m sorry that I betrayed you, I’m sorry that I didn’t stop them from hurting Louis, I’m sorry that I didn’t fight back, I’m sorry that I didn’t come home, I’m sorry that-“

Her apologetic rant was cut off by chapped lips against her own. The guilt seemed to numb for a moment, letting her enjoy the familiarity of Violet’s lips. The kiss was soft, gentle and caring, despite both of their lips being chapped and dry. It felt like home. She needed her home.

Violet pulled away a moment later, staring into Minnie’s pale eyes. A blush crept its way onto the blonde’s cheeks and she dropped her gaze.

”S-Sorry. I just...” She trailed off, unsure of how to explain herself. In truth, she just needed to know that it really was Minnie, it was the same girl that she grew up with and fell in love with. And it was, it was her. But, Violet still didn’t know how to help her come back and be that same girl. She wasn’t sure if she could even help at all.

”I missed you, Vi. You were the only thing that held me together for so long, but Lilly... she told me you didn’t care. She convinced me that you didn’t. She told me that you wouldn’t love me unless you became part of Delta too. And, I-I believed her. I don’t know what’s true anymore. They said I killed Sophie, but I don’t remember it. They convinced me that I did, they described it, but I-I don’t know if I did do it or if they just wanted me to think I did” Minnie slowly began removing the glass from her hand, barely wincing at the feeling. 

“But... why would they want to convince you of killing Sophie if you didn’t do it?” 

“To show me that if I didn’t behave and follow their rules, I’d end up like her. Lilly liked illustrations, she could’ve used Soph as one. She knew that Soph was the only thing I had left and she knew that she could use that to her benefit. Soph didn’t want to follow their rules and she let them know it. But, I-I was too scared. I didn’t want them to hurt us, or any of you guys, so I did as they told me. After Sophie... I couldn’t refuse” Violet felt her heart tense as Minnie told her story. She didn’t want to think about what else had happened at that awful place and she didn’t want to think about how much it must have taken to break Minnie like this. Minnie continued to remove the glass from her hand, using it as a distraction from the emotions fighting inside.

”They’re gone now. They’re not coming back. You’re safe here, Min. I won’t let anyone hurt you” Violet promised. Minnie looked away from her hand, catching Violet’s gaze and holding it for a moment.

”Vi?”

”Yeah?”

”Do you still love me? Despite all the fucked up shit and that my brain is all fucked up-“

”Yes”

“Yes?”

”Yes. I still love you. I never stopped”

Minnie’s eyes lit up, and not even the guilt could bury the joy that she felt. For the first time in over a year, she grinned. And Violet grinned right back at her. 

Violet stood up slowly, offering a hand to help Minnie up too. She took it and soon, Violet was trapping her in a warm embrace, her face buried into the undamaged side of the taller girl’s neck. Minnie held onto the girl like her life depended on it.

”Vi?”

Violet gave a soft hum of acknowledgment, her warm breath tickling Minnie’s neck.

”I love you too, y’know”

”I know”

They stayed like that for a little while longer, just enjoying the touch of the other. They needed this, it had been so long.

”Come on, let’s get you to Ruby so she can yell at us for being reckless while also patching you up and worrying about you” Violet smiled against Minnie’s neck as the taller girl laughed quietly. God, she missed that sound.

”Sounds like our Ruby” Minnie replied, slowly moving away from Violet. Violet pouted slightly, but smiled again when Minnie took her hand instead. Minnie turned her head to face the smaller girl, a soft look on her face. Violet smiled up at Minnie and Minnie smiled back at her.

”I’ve missed you. I love you”

”I’ve missed you and I love you too” 


End file.
